Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Seven Important Coping Skills

This is from Madeline Levine's book "Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success."

1.  Resourcefulness: the ability to proactively and independently solve problems and seek help from others
  • Do: create opportunities to develop coping skills
  • Do: share how you solve your own problems (modeling)
  • Do: teach that there are multiple ways to solve problems
  • Do: teach how to self-soothe, have emotional control
  • Don't: jump in too early or become impatient; give them a chance to problem solve
  • Don't: become so stressed that you are unable to model resourcefulness
2.  Enthusiasm: encourage children to find something that really interests and excites them

  • Do: model enthusiasm by expressing it often and over a range of activities
  • Do: remember that entitlement kills enthusiasm
  • Don't: expect your child's way of expressing enthusiasm to be the same as yours
  • Don't: use your love or approval as a way of manipulating your child's interests
3.  Creativity: encourage nimble, flexible, and innovative thinking
  • Do: keep materials that encourage creative expression easily available
  • Do: encourage open-ended activities and unstructured play
  • Do: encourage problem-solving
  • Do: limit screen time
  • Don't: lose patience with the skeptical child
4.  Hard-Working: having a good work ethic
  • Do: model enthusiasm for hard work (and feeling a sense of accomplishment)
  • Do: make sure the work they are expected to do is reasonable and not overwhelming
  • Don't: expect all kids to put in the same kind of effort
  • Don't: insist on their best effort on absolutely everything
5.  Self Control: or developing ways to wait
  • Do: model self management yourself
  • Do: allow them to experience moderate levels of distress/challenge/struggles
  • Do: show you value their ability to go against the crowd
  • Don't: expect them to learn without your guidance
  • Don't: dismiss or minimize their negative feelings (help them deal with anxiety)
6.  Self-Esteem: feeling that one is worthwhile; gained through competence
  • Do: encourage them to work outside of their comfort zone
  • Do: let them know you have confidence in their abilities
  • Do: help them break goals into smaller, more realistic goals
  • Don't: allow them to shift responsibility for difficulty to others
  • Don't: praise indiscriminately
7.  Self-Efficacy: believing that we play a role in determining how things will turn out for us in life
  • Do: help them to appraise their capabilities realistically
  • Do: provide opportunities for them to contribute successfully to the family
  • Don't: project your own anxiety on them as they move forward
  • Don't: protect your child from failure 

No comments:

Post a Comment